tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17492583144149288032011-07-28T09:17:03.167-07:00Embracing imperfection and falling in love with yourself...Jessicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11038137902178104866noreply@blogger.comBlogger11100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1749258314414928803.post-41398235325850963552010-05-24T10:00:00.000-07:002010-05-24T10:23:02.921-07:00So I have begun a new stage in my life. I am taking control of my past and not letting it take control of my future. I have been in and out of therapy for various reasons in the last few years and I honestly would have told you that I was healing that I was getting better but in reality I wasn't. I put on a face and told me I was getting better but under the surface I was screaming inside and seething with anger. I was so caught up in my past that it was consuming me. I wasn't okay. <div>A few weeks ago I picked up a book by my favorite author Don Miller. The title was Father Fiction where he talks mostly about how growing up without a father effected his outlook on life for a long time.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_PQeOfU-OXak/S_qxoUEubhI/AAAAAAAAABA/K2v7l032oOM/s1600/fatherfiction.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 164px; height: 250px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_PQeOfU-OXak/S_qxoUEubhI/AAAAAAAAABA/K2v7l032oOM/s320/fatherfiction.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5474883603163672082" /></a><br />He was looking for affirmation from everyone and anything other than God. It was an empty place to be. It took Miller some growing and a lot of soul searching to finally find out that God is the only person who can fill those holes. And that to fill ourselves with anything other that Him is not going to lead to true healing. That maybe we should let God be our fathers.<br />I cried through most of the book. Part out of relief, there was someone who understood me, who finally knew what I was going through and the other part was out of sadness. I had been living in denial for a long time. I have a lot of things to conquer but God has giving me motivation and vision and I know that I am not alone. I am learning that my past is my past...and I didn't choose for things to happen to me. What I can choose is to forgive and to let my future be for ME.<br /><br />I have a friend. She is going through this same healing process as well. She knows who she is and how much she means to me. I stand in awe of her sometimes. She has been through some crap but she is no longer letting her past define who she is. T his blog is in part dedicated to her because she has been a constant source of inspiration and support in my life, especially the last few months. I love you. <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_PQeOfU-OXak/S_q06exbcKI/AAAAAAAAABI/YGNdO8MvxTc/s1600/tumblr_kzast0R3uQ1qzvnuuo1_500.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 213px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_PQeOfU-OXak/S_q06exbcKI/AAAAAAAAABI/YGNdO8MvxTc/s320/tumblr_kzast0R3uQ1qzvnuuo1_500.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5474887213808054434" /></a></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><i>I am found in the arms of Love.</div><div>Your love really saved my soul.</div><div>I run to Your arms of Love.</div><div>Your love is going to lead me HOME. </i></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1749258314414928803-4139823532585096355?l=steptowardsimperfection.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Jessicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11038137902178104866noreply@blogger.com0